Monday, November 1, 2010

I'm Drifting, but not to sleep... into Hell.

“Given the amount of unjust suffering and unhappiness in the world, I am deeply grateful for, sometimes even perplexed by, how much misery I have been spared.” - Dennis Prager

2:30 in the morning. I have nothing to do. I have nothing to say. I wish I could just cut myself open and bleed onto the paper. That would be easy.

Month after month after month goes by, but yet nothing lights the fire of my soul. I can't reach the heart of my discontent. I am tossing and turning in the dark just praying for a light switch so I can make sense of anything. Anything!

Purpose and meaning have little hold over me while I am trying to become a normal member of society again. I am looking for meaning, and I should be looking for a job. I mean, I am doing both, but I am starting to think they are the opposite of each other, thus, leading me in circles.

The moment is over,
the pain is real.
Things should hurt,
that was the deal.

Night goes on forever,
Day comes to a halt.
Lips tell me your story,
I know it's not your fault.

Find it to forgive me,
For I have taken your soul.
I can't understand circumstance,
Santa Clause & his coal.

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