Friday, November 27, 2009

I am lost

“Two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity; and I'm not sure about the universe.”
- Albert Einstein

On this Black Friday, I am lost.

As a person that tends to take what other people say to heart, I have been beaten, bruised, and destroyed by people who are only out for themselves. They are lashing out from their fantasy world, and in the process, stupid little me tries to understand their place in reality.

And thus, I am wrecked. This is what I get for trying to understand people and the world better.

“A question that sometimes drives me hazy: am I or are the others crazy?”
- Albert Einstein

To live in this world, you have to understand that at any given time, only about 50% of the people are going to agree with you. The greatness of a man is to continue to fight for what he knows is right in the face of mounting opposition. A leader fights for what is right and makes it popular; he does not take what is popular and pretend that it is right.

"Let us have Faith that right makes might, and in that Faith, let us to the end, dare to do our duty as we understand it."
- Abraham Lincoln

Thursday, November 26, 2009

Thinking for myself, for that I am thankful.

"And I will place within them as a guide
My umpire conscience, whom if they will hear,
Light after light well-used they shall attain,
And to the end persisting, safe arrive."

John Milton, Paradise Lost, Book III. Lines 194-197

While Thanksgiving has never been a religious holiday, some are using it to push "following God's law" and not "economic experimentation with socialism" this year. Crazy, I know. Can't we just be thankful we are still here? Like, a year ago, that wasn't a done deal. A year ago things were looking really bad. With headlines like "Is the U.S. Headed Towards the Second Great Depression?" it is easy to see we really have had a good year and have much to be grateful for.

Personally, with all the talk of following God's laws, I am brought back to that quote from Milton. "And I will place within them as a guide/My umpire conscience..." To me it says almost everything. God gave us the ability to think for our self, and gave us a voice inside our head to do the right thing. And that voice is the spirit of God, whatever you want to call him.

So, telling me I have to follow a set of rules men wrote down in a book thousands of years ago even when the "umpire conscience" in my head thinks they are wrong is crazy. I don't like having other people do my thinking for me.

I may not be religious, but I do believe God gave me the ability to think for myself, as well as pointing me in the right direction. So please, don't tell me your beliefs are more right than mine, because in America we have the freedom to believe whatever we choose to believe.

And that is what Thanksgiving is about. Being free to make our own decisions. And for that I am thankful.

Saturday, November 14, 2009

Open your mouth & speak!

“Thinking is easy, acting is difficult, and to put one's thoughts into action is the most difficult thing in the world.”
- Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

It's funny how little things can really help you think. I just turned off our desktop PC because the fan was being WAY too loud. Once it was off, I could actually hear myself thing again. It was like taking a torn out of your foot.

I have been up all night and I just can't seem to find my voice. I want to write something but I can't get my thoughts from my head into words. The first problem is I don't have anything to really talk about, so I just end up going on and on about nothing.

I shouldn't be so hard on myself. I actually did get some things done this week. I got my car payment situation fixed for now. It was gonna be hard to keep paying a huge monthly car payment without a job, but I got it worked out. I also applied to several jobs so that I can at least stay qualified for unemployment if I can win my claim next week. All I have to do prove is that I'm not responsible for getting myself fired. I actually have a good case.

But I could have done a lot more. I'm not sure what, but for one I could have done a lot more writing. I've thought about working on some short stories I have going, but that is leading nowhere fast.

One thing I have done in lieu of actual action is watch a lot of news. I have been really bogged down with the news of the last few weeks. I mean, from Ft. Hood to health care, and from 10%+ unemployment to off-year elections we have all been lucky to move day-to-day without going crazy. Now throw in losing your job, having your 26th birthday and taking your mother in for eye surgery. I have not been focused on the bigger picture. I've been worried about applying to enough jobs to quality for my unemployment while trying to figure out how I'm going to help my mom out now that I'm costing her money instead of making money.

That doesn't mean, however, I haven't been thinking about the big picture, but I feel like I've been so deep in the trenches of politics I haven't been fighting the battles that really need to fought. I have done what most liberals do: I have given into the conservative attack of the moment. Be it health care, Fox News, or the economic stimulus, I have let them define the debate. And doing that, we lose.

While we might be able to save this debate and win, I think the best we can do now is push to the end and pass health care. Then maybe we can get our footing and do everything else we need to do.

Until then, I'm going to read some more. Maybe then I will get my voice back. And have something to say.